Does It Have To Be All or Nothing?

As my family returns from a weekend trip to a Detroit Area sports tournament, I find myself pondering the various conversations that I overheard in our travels. Not surprisingly, a great deal of them had to do with gun control and the recent stories in the news.

As I read, listen and surf the current information and opinions that are out there, I can't help but wonder where the voice of the everyman (and every woman) is. I am a bit fed up with the opinions of individuals that most would consider extreme being plastered across the airwaves.

How do we cope with evil?
Who do we blame?

Since my husband works in the news industry, I understand that the nuttiest folks with the most unmovable stances make the best news. As a country, we feed on the crazy, we like to see the bizarre and love to fight about the all or nothing point of views on hot button issues. "If it bleeds, it leads" is a very true statement. I wonder however, why more folks like me are not up in arms demanding a more logical and hopefully, country-wide voice.

Do we only want to hear facts that
support what we already believe?

Guns and gun control have been a hotly debated topic for some time now, but I can't fail to see that the majority of people I talk to and interact with on a daily basis adhere to a calmer attitude when discussing whether or not guns are good, bad, or somewhere in between.

I call this the "mind you own business" attitude. This attitude is deeply bedding in the giving and receiving of respect. I have my own believes on the subject and act accordingly in my own home, with my own family. I ask those around me to respect that. In return, I respect the decision of those around me in regards to what they believe and how they live their lives. That is called good manners.

Is selectively banning certain guns
the answer?

Somewhere along the way, we started mixing up "manners" with "morals." Morals are highly personal opinions and beliefs that are between you, those you love most and your Maker, whomever you believe him (or her) to be. Manners are things that we do to show respect, good will and friendliness to those around us in every day life. It is bad manners to verbally attack someone because they happen to think differently than those around you. You are not the end-all, be-all decision maker for your fellow man, and attempting to pass judgement on others beliefs and decisions will most likely end badly for you. Going around telling everyone and anyone that you can trap into a conversation that you are right and they are wrong and that laws and policies sold be changed or created to enforce your specific point of view is the very height of arrogance. It's rude...stop it right now! Miss Manners would be horrified, and I myself feel faint at the thought.

Are we conditioned by the
media to react a certain way?

For example, I believe that owning guns is a very important right in the United States. I grew up around guns and currently own several. My entire extended family hunts various animals and we use the meat from hunting to help put food on the table, because it is healthier, more economical and we believe that it is required to be a responsible part of the food chain. We do not hide our weapons from our children (as they were not hidden from me and my siblings) and education our youth from a very early age on the reality of weapons, death and the grave responsibility that comes with handling fire arms. It is a fact that I could set a loading gun down on the table in front of me and it would rust away to nothing before it jumped up and ran off to hurt someone. I believe that evil resides in the twisted individual that chooses to kill and maim, not in my inanimate object. No one in my family has ever "found" a gun and played with it, accidentally shot a loved one, or any other of the horrible and gruesome things you hear about in the news in regards to having guns in the home....never, not once, ever. There is no fear, just responsibility and respect. I feel this is healthy, normal, and feel safer knowing that I have the training necessary to defend my family.

Can we learn from other Countries
or do we make our own way?

But here is the kicker~ I would never, ever, ever consider attempting to tell one of my friends that does not care for guns and will not have them in their home, that they are wrong. I will not argue with them in the attempt to make them see my point of view. I will not scream and swear and call names and show pages full of facts that defend my stance. I find such behavior to be the height of arrogance and rudeness. How can I, being so confident in my beliefs, presume to tell others that their beliefs are somehow wrong, simply because they do not align with my own?

Are of feelings causing us to
ignore evidence?

Instead of debating on weather guns should be legal or not, we should be focusing instead on the breakdown of common decency, respect and privacy that is a frightening glimpse of what is to come. There will always be guns in America, period. Even if tomorrow the government outlawed them, they would still be here, in our closets, our gun safes and in our basements. The idea that every individual would turn in their weapons is ludicrous and laughable, it goes against the spirit and history of our nation, simple as that. The criminals of the world would defiantly hold on to theirs. So instead of getting weighed down with fighting over who is "right" and who is "wrong" perhaps we can instead work towards the idea that even though we will not always agree on issues, those issues need not define us. At our jobs, in our neighborhoods, at our kid's soccer practices, we stand shoulder to shoulder with folks that have very different ideas about everything from guns to religion. Does that change anything? Do you have to be "with us" or "against us?" If I can respect your choices and decisions about your life, is it too much to ask that you respect mine? Can't we all just mind our own business and not let the whack-jobs try to box us in and label us?

Will there always be people
that will hurt others not matter what
they use to do it?

 Drawing lines in the sand is a dangerous pastime, and some lines can not be erased after they are scratched on the ground. Are you motivated by the need to be "right," the lure of convincing others that they are "wrong," the desire to make decisions for homes and households that you are not a part of? Isn't be allowed to live the way you see fit and allowing that same dignity to others enough?
 Does it have to be all or nothing?